Have A Safe And Happy New Year!

If you thought the Seinfeld Porno was gag-worthy, just wait until you get a load of Jersey Shore XXX: An adult entertainment company has announced plans to produce an X-rated spoof inspired by MTV’s controversial reality series Jersey Shore.

The porn purveyors at Zero Tolerance Entertainment are busily working on a project that will transform Snooki, J-Woww, and the rest of the overtanned and oversexed Guidos and Guidettes of the season’s most buzzed-about unscripted hit into Jersey Whores.

Hey guys, looking for love in the new year? How about a date with Kate Gosselin?

The reality-starring mother of eight is fresh off a divorce from hot mess of a hubby Jon Gosselin and may be looking for long-lasting love on the small screen, according to a scoop from PopEater.com. The former star of TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 is in chats with the network to star in a new dating show that would document her search for the next spineless jellyfish she can order around.

“Love her or hate her, people are fascinated by Kate,” an industry executive told PopEater’s Rob Shuter. “She has a lot of mouths to feed and Kate looking for love will certainly put bread on the table.”

Kate was recently dumped from the proposed MomLogic daytime talk show after tanking during the pilot episode alongside potential cohosts Paula Deen, Lee Woodruff, and Rene Syler.

Reality starlet Kim Kardashian has responded to allegations that she pockets up to $10,000 per Tweet to endorse products for QuickTrim, Reebox, and promote a new line of premiunm salads from West Coast fast food giant Carl’s Jr.

“I want to clear this up because there has been a lot of talk about this. Carl’s Jr did not pay me to tweet about their salads,” the 28-year-old socialite wrote on her blog New Year’s Eve. “Yes, obviously I was paid to be in the commercial… we all have to work! But I was not paid to tweet or talk about the salads on my blog, Facebook account, MySpace account or any other online outlets,” Kim wrote.

Kim — who catapulted to reality stardom after appearing in a sex tape with R&B singer Ray J — says she Tweets in hopes of sharing her favorite items with followers — not for monetary compensation.

“I want my fans to know what products, gadgets, foods, clothes and beauty products I like and I love sharing all that with my fans. You all know I’ve posted about certain clothes and products on my blog since I started blogging two years ago.”

Daytime TV got steamy this final week of 2009. One Life To Live ended the year with a bang — literally!

Despite rumors of its possible cancellation, on Wednesday, the daytime drama aired the first ever gay male sex scene in soap opera history. Here’s a video of the steamy hayroll between on-screen couple Kyle (Brett Claywell) and Fish (Scott Evans):

The candle-lit encounter got nearly two-and-a-half minutes of screen time and was followed by spooning and cuddling in bed.

NBC is in discussions to revive its defunct amateur talent search Last Comic Standing, Entertainment Weekly insiders spilled this week.

The reality show, which ran for six seasons between 2003-2008, awarded one stand-up comedian a special on Comedy Central and a development contract with NBC.

Last Comic Standing will reportedly return alongside America’s Got Talent and Losing It With Jillian, a new weight-loss show with The Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels, during the Summer of 2010.

Paul Telegedy, NBC’s head of reality programming, plans to revamp the show’s format and implant a new host in time for the show to air as part of NBC’s summer lineup. The series had four hosts over the course of its run, including Jay Mohr, Anthony Clark, Bill Bellamy and Fearne Cotton.

Outspoken Jersey Shore starlet Snooki has ripped into companies who have pulled their ads from the wildly popular MTV show amid protest that the program fosters negative Italian-American stereotypes.

“I just have one thing to say to Domino’s, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there,” Snooki — whose real name is Nicole Polizzi — spat to Steppin’ Out this week. “F— you! If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch. Just shut the hell up! I’m serious. … F— you!”

While Domino’s isn’t taking any lip from Snooki lying down. The pizza giant issued a scathing diss to the pint-sized dynamo in a statement to E! on Thursday: “Our first response was, ‘What a classy young lady—her parents must be so proud,’” a Domino’s rep replied curtly. “There’s no need to get into a war with this young girl, because ticktock, her 15 minutes are almost up.”

Snooki, 21 openly refers to herself as a “guidette” on the program featuring eight drunken twentysomethings sharing a summer house in the Jersey Shore resort community of Seaside Heights. Italian-American organization UNICO has been putting pressure on companies to yank their ads from the program, referring to the castmates as “bimbos and buffoons” and taking aim at Snooki — an aspiring vet tech — in particular.

Irish blues legend Van Morrison has denied a report claiming he fathered a child with his manager, saying a widely reported birth announcement that appeared on his website three days ago was the result of a hacking attack and “completely and utterly without foundation.”

The publicity-shy crooner, now 64, has ordered his management to conduct an “immediate investigation” into the report that claimed he had a boy with his manager, Gigii Lee. The bogus statment said the kid’s name was George Ivan Morrison III and that he was “the spitting image of his daddy.”

Van insists he is happily married to wife Michelle Morrison. The couple are the parents of two.

No more sexting for Tiger……AT&T, one of Tiger Woods’ biggest sponsors, has became the latest company to cut ties with the world’s No. 1 ranked golfer in the aftermath a sordid sex scandal that tarnished the athlete’s once squeaky-clean image.

“We are ending our sponsorship agreement with Tiger Woods and wish him well in the future,” the phone company said in a statement.

Earlier this month, the global consulting firm Accenture decided to end its relationship with Woods, and Gatorade discontinued a Tiger-themed beverage. TAG Heuer and Gillette announced plans to scale back the athlete’s role in their marketing programs.

Honestly, that’s just not even fair.

(Busted Coverage)